Tears

I have a constant lump in my throat lately most of the time I do not cry but last night I could not hold it in anymore.  I cried for hours.

Wyatt is doing so so much better.  Mainly because they figured out what is wrong with him, his thyroid did not develop so he has to take meds for it for the rest of his life (that is fine with me, he is alive).  He is going to be my big guy even though he weighs the same as Layne he just looks bigger.

Haylee, it really has been a roller coaster ride with her lately.  I had to go thru my first resuscitation with Wyatt and it was horrible for me, so I had a little talk with the other two that mommy could not take that phone call anymore.  Little miss is going to be my rebellious one because they have had to resuscitate her three times now.  The second time was Saturday night and while bagging her, her lungs would not inflate with air like they wanted. Once they got her stable they took an xray, she had a small leak like Wyatt did.  It will close with time.  She did really well for the rest of the day.  Well last night she decided to stop breathing again they bagged her and this time it took them along time to get her breathing.  They are running all kinds of tests to figure out what is going on.  She does have a murmur (PDA open) like the boys had but they say there would be other signs that they look for before they say that is the reason.  So today they are going to do a head ultrasound to look at her brain.  It is aggravating to me that all the tests they ran so far are coming out okay and they say the reason she is doing this is because she is premature.  If it is in fact the only reason they can come up with it will just take her growing and getting older to fix the problem. What if she does it again?  I am just sick to my stomach writing about it, the good thing is I have not been there when they have these little spells (it is usually in the middle of the night or right after I leave).  I assume I would be a mess and would just be no help at all but I could be really calm until it was all over, who knows.  I will try to update later with the results to the ultrasound.

Layne had surgery last week on his PDA.  They told me this was a pretty simple and common surgery done in the NICU.  It was still hard, surgery on the heart is not just an everyday thing that I have to go thru especially on a 4 week old (31 weeks gestation).  It only took them 20 minutes to do it and he was off the ventilator within 24 hours and was breathing better than Wyatt and Haylee.  The incision is sore but that is expected.  He cried the entire time they were taking him to the OR, we assumed it was because he was being separated from his brother and sister (if that is the case it will make things challenging when they are growing up).

One of the doctors made the comment that they really want to see them as the grow up because we all believe they are telepathic.  When one sets off their alarm the other two follow suit (they drive the nurses crazy).  They are all on high humidity air and the boys weigh 2lbs 11oz and Haylee is 2lbs 9oz.

Happy 5 week Birthday babies. 



Wyatt with his little dog Doby 3-21-12





Haylee Jo with Huey the cat 3-21-12



Layne with his dog Spot 3-21-12