Monday, April 2, 2012


I have a constant lump in my throat lately most of the time I do not cry but last night I could not hold it in anymore.  I cried for hours.

Wyatt is doing so so much better.  Mainly because they figured out what is wrong with him, his thyroid did not develop so he has to take meds for it for the rest of his life (that is fine with me, he is alive).  He is going to be my big guy even though he weighs the same as Layne he just looks bigger.

Haylee, it really has been a roller coaster ride with her lately.  I had to go thru my first resuscitation with Wyatt and it was horrible for me, so I had a little talk with the other two that mommy could not take that phone call anymore.  Little miss is going to be my rebellious one because they have had to resuscitate her three times now.  The second time was Saturday night and while bagging her, her lungs would not inflate with air like they wanted. Once they got her stable they took an xray, she had a small leak like Wyatt did.  It will close with time.  She did really well for the rest of the day.  Well last night she decided to stop breathing again they bagged her and this time it took them along time to get her breathing.  They are running all kinds of tests to figure out what is going on.  She does have a murmur (PDA open) like the boys had but they say there would be other signs that they look for before they say that is the reason.  So today they are going to do a head ultrasound to look at her brain.  It is aggravating to me that all the tests they ran so far are coming out okay and they say the reason she is doing this is because she is premature.  If it is in fact the only reason they can come up with it will just take her growing and getting older to fix the problem. What if she does it again?  I am just sick to my stomach writing about it, the good thing is I have not been there when they have these little spells (it is usually in the middle of the night or right after I leave).  I assume I would be a mess and would just be no help at all but I could be really calm until it was all over, who knows.  I will try to update later with the results to the ultrasound.

Layne had surgery last week on his PDA.  They told me this was a pretty simple and common surgery done in the NICU.  It was still hard, surgery on the heart is not just an everyday thing that I have to go thru especially on a 4 week old (31 weeks gestation).  It only took them 20 minutes to do it and he was off the ventilator within 24 hours and was breathing better than Wyatt and Haylee.  The incision is sore but that is expected.  He cried the entire time they were taking him to the OR, we assumed it was because he was being separated from his brother and sister (if that is the case it will make things challenging when they are growing up).

One of the doctors made the comment that they really want to see them as the grow up because we all believe they are telepathic.  When one sets off their alarm the other two follow suit (they drive the nurses crazy).  They are all on high humidity air and the boys weigh 2lbs 11oz and Haylee is 2lbs 9oz.

Happy 5 week Birthday babies. 

Wyatt with his little dog Doby 3-21-12

Haylee Jo with Huey the cat 3-21-12

Layne with his dog Spot 3-21-12


waiting and wishing said...

Praying for you and those sweet little babes! I hope things get a little less stressful soon.

Lory said...

I am praying for your beautiful little babies.
I know how hard it is to have a baby in the NICU (34 of the longest days of my life). I can empathize with a lot that you are going through.
I'm available to chat if you ever need a listening sympathetic ear/screen from someone who's been there.
Praying for precious Layne, Wyatt and Haylee Jo.
Hang in there Momma.

Amy and Robert said...

I am so sorry you have to go through this rollercoaster. You have some beautiful little babies and I will keep your whole family in thought and prayer. You are such an amazing woman and such a strong mother. Happy 5 weeks little ones :)

Jess said...

They are beautiful Crystal! You are such a strong Momma! Keeping all of you in my prayers. Sorry Haylee is being a stinker, praying they figure out the issue soon!

Ashley's Journey In Life said...

omgosh! look at those precious darling bundles of joy!! I am so sorry its still a roller coaster but just know that I have been thinking about you and them lately. Sending stay strong prayers your way!

Allison said...

((((Hugs))))) Sending so many prayers to you and your little ones.

You're not completely losing your shit on a daily basis? You're doing AMAZING, lady. Your babies are beautiful, and strong like their momma.

I seem to recall that you are in the St. Louis area, yes? I am as well. Is there anything that you need? (y'know, that a virtual stranger could give....) If there is anything I can do, please leave me a comment. I won't publish anything personal.

More (((hugs))) and prayers.

Joey said...

Praying. Thinking of you and your little family. Glad to hear they are putting on a little weight. That has to make them stronger each day. Many blessings for you all. You are so strong. You and your hubby hold tight to each other.


Kate said...

Prayers for you - and know that we're all here if you need us in any way; you have my email address. Your babies are beautiful - I can't believe it's been 5 weeks already!

Hang in there - it will be hard, but they are worth every minute.