Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Are there two of me?

I feel like there are two of me, the one that I let everyone see then there is the one that only a handful of people know and a lot of time I keep that side to myself (she might slip out on really crazy days).

The one side is a people pleaser and the other side is just a wreck almost all of the time.  Why is it I let myself get this way I am a freaking wreck...I cry on a daily basis because I can not fix things.  DH says it will all work out in the end but it just keeps getting worse and worse.  I want to just leave but I know that problems will just follow.  I am in a serious argument right now with two people on of these people that crazy side slipped out and I told them how I felt (it didn't go so well) the other I'm just avoiding because I don't want to take the chance of the crazy coming out.  I know that a lot of people feel this way, this is the only place that I really can get it out with lots of judgement being passed onto me.  I'm sorry I know I'm just rambling.  Maybe I should just be a person that everyone tells me what to do and I just do it and have no thoughts of my own.

I am STRESSED OUT.  I really hate complaining on this blog because it should be about happy things such as my kids but this is my diary so I can say what I need right?


Kate said...

YES! You can say whatever you want here.

Sorry things are still sucking - let me know what I can do!

Allison said...

(((((Hugs)))))) yes, vent away in your space. Dont give up...

Jess said...

Thinking of you dear, you have my # if you ever want to vent. And you are right your blog is forYOU. To vent, to pour everything out of you too, and tell fun stories about your babes. All come together. It is life.

you say it is just stress, but are you depressed? When I felt this way it was when I was struggling with depression. If I can find the poem I wrote I will send it your way.

Joey said...

Oh girl, I understand. These hormone shots make the crazy come out more than usual. I can only imagine 3 little ones on top of that! Hang in there. Vent all you want. And maybe some people need to hear it!

You're in my thoughts,
The Childless Mom