Friday, October 26, 2012

Another grey hair

I feel that my problems are so petty at this point, especially after reading a couple other blogs this morning.  I thought about not even writing mine but here I go anyway.  

We had a nicu newborn appointment yesterday and I wanted to cry so bad during the appointment (but I was a big girl and sucked it up).  I did not know the answers to the questions that the doctors were asking me.  They were asking developmental questions, such as, can they pick up a toy, sit up....blah blah blah.  I did not know the answers to a lot of the questions, why do you ask, because I work then I come home and race to get them fed, bathed then to bed at a reasonable time.  On days that I have off we go to doctor appointments and weekends are always crazy.  Am I a horrible mother for not knowing my kids, it was bad enough that I missed the first time Haylee rolled over.  I worked so hard to get pregnant, then prayed and worried about staying pregnant, then prayed and worried about keeping them alive the first several months.  Now I go back to work and do not get to enjoy my kids.  I started crying today at work saying I needed to go part time because life is passing me by and I'm missing out on my kids lives.  So we have already started talks with the board members about me going part time for a year then it will be reviewed again.  If I have not said this before I am so thankful for my boss, new boss and the supportive members on the board that I work for.

So the conclusion to the doc appointment, Wyatt is way behind on developmental things (we know this), they did not turn his oxygen down because he needs the extra support still.  This means he has been out of the nicu for almost 5 months and he is on the same support that he was released on.  On a good note he has recovered from his hernia surgery and is doing good with that.  Haylee is getting hives about every other day and we do not know why.  We are still on for her heart surger at the beginning of next year.  Layne is doing well with not major problems (thank you lord).

1 comment:

Kate said...

Honey - your problems are not petty!! Parenting is hard - multiples are harder yet - and I'm sure everyone realizes you're doing the very best that you can. You're juggling more concurrently than most people try to do over several years time.

You've got my email address if you need to vent - and I know you think I'm crazy, but it does get easier as they get older. It's a different kind of busy as they age - they'll entertain themselves for brief periods and you're sanity will return. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.